Discussion on:
Good post!
Posted by Hates Idiots
19th Oct
Just
In
In
It doesn't help...
Posted by JohnMcGrew@...
24th Oct
Show:
0
Votes
We talk about psychology as if it were a real science with reproducibility.
Unfortunately, it isn't - it's a philosophy, especially the social and behavioral side.
Posted by dduggerbiocepts
19th Oct
+5
Votes
Good post!
As a nation I feel we have raised at least 2 generations of soft kids. They lack basic jobs skills and perhaps more importantly they lack the basic social skills for what is espected and acceptable in a work environment.
For the last 20 years I have seen far too many collage age kids who cry or scream in my office at a bad job performance review because they have never been told they are doing a task poorly. And held accountable for it. At one point 60% of kids we hired fell into this group.
They ignored routine coaching of their mistakes as if there were no consequences for failing to improve. Their entitled upbringing had taught them that dress codes and work schedules were optional for them. They had the arrogance to start talking about the need for a pay raise at their 30 day review even as you reviewed their short comings and offered training and coaching to help them.
They were expecting more money, yet they ignored advice and guidance from others, never asked questions and never accepted help when they were obviously over their head with the task at hand. When their 90 day review came up they were crushed when they were not hired permanently because of a poor performance review. Something had to be done or the company would pay down the road as people retired.
You see an employee age gap had developed where we had no supervisors in their 20s capable of moving up into management jobs as people in their 30s and 40s got promoted.
Pushed into a corner by what was seen as a combination of a poltically correct society driven failed education system and poor parenting, they started doing paid high school internships coordinated with a new charter school about 10 years ago. The charter school demanded parental participation in the kids learning.
To this day they teach parents good parenting skills while the paid internships help teach the kids about the responsibilities expected at a real world job.
Today most of our lower and mid level supervisors are 19 to 24 year olds who came out of that program.
For the last 20 years I have seen far too many collage age kids who cry or scream in my office at a bad job performance review because they have never been told they are doing a task poorly. And held accountable for it. At one point 60% of kids we hired fell into this group.
They ignored routine coaching of their mistakes as if there were no consequences for failing to improve. Their entitled upbringing had taught them that dress codes and work schedules were optional for them. They had the arrogance to start talking about the need for a pay raise at their 30 day review even as you reviewed their short comings and offered training and coaching to help them.
They were expecting more money, yet they ignored advice and guidance from others, never asked questions and never accepted help when they were obviously over their head with the task at hand. When their 90 day review came up they were crushed when they were not hired permanently because of a poor performance review. Something had to be done or the company would pay down the road as people retired.
You see an employee age gap had developed where we had no supervisors in their 20s capable of moving up into management jobs as people in their 30s and 40s got promoted.
Pushed into a corner by what was seen as a combination of a poltically correct society driven failed education system and poor parenting, they started doing paid high school internships coordinated with a new charter school about 10 years ago. The charter school demanded parental participation in the kids learning.
To this day they teach parents good parenting skills while the paid internships help teach the kids about the responsibilities expected at a real world job.
Today most of our lower and mid level supervisors are 19 to 24 year olds who came out of that program.
Posted by Hates Idiots
19th Oct
+3
Votes
Interesting.
"...researchers are finding that in fact over-parenting can lead to detrimental character traits. One such risk is that over-parenting erodes a sense of autonomy within the child, where they become ever-more dependent on external achievement and status to provide a sense of confidence and a secure self."
I wonder how "nanny statism" is going to contribute to this as they grow older.
I wonder how "nanny statism" is going to contribute to this as they grow older.
Posted by JohnMcGrew@...
19th Oct
+3
Votes
Parenting means making mistakes.
The first mistake is to assume that what worked for your generation will work the same way for your child--for good or ill.
Some people become self-actualized and 'successful' under great pressure to perform...others crumble and self-destruct.
Some people remain infants when treated as incompetent, others burst forth in total competence.
To treat people as identical is a huge error.
What is success in a world where 1% of the people need to work to create and operate society?
We live in an age where 'unlearning' is often as or more important than learning.
We live in an age where 'you have no job, thus are worthless' cannot be true without destroying society.
We live in an age where money is completely theoretical. Where theft and lies are not only common but rewarded, where hard work beget not success, but more hard work, where notoriaty is worth as much or more than talent.
We teach 'everything you need to know' in Kindergarten...and spend the next decade of education and life experiance teaching you that those things are lies, that greed and selfishness, backstabbing and lies are the route to success.
Major change is coming over the next 12 years...society's basic rules are becoming obsolete and reorganized. Unfortunately, none of our leaders have a clue, and thus will continue to try the same old techniques expecting similar results and being disappointed.
There is a difference between capitalism and unbridled greed.
Scarcity of resources is no longer an actual situation, it has become a created pattern of thought.
Highly concentrated, anything from water to power becomes corrupting and dangerous.
Some people become self-actualized and 'successful' under great pressure to perform...others crumble and self-destruct.
Some people remain infants when treated as incompetent, others burst forth in total competence.
To treat people as identical is a huge error.
What is success in a world where 1% of the people need to work to create and operate society?
We live in an age where 'unlearning' is often as or more important than learning.
We live in an age where 'you have no job, thus are worthless' cannot be true without destroying society.
We live in an age where money is completely theoretical. Where theft and lies are not only common but rewarded, where hard work beget not success, but more hard work, where notoriaty is worth as much or more than talent.
We teach 'everything you need to know' in Kindergarten...and spend the next decade of education and life experiance teaching you that those things are lies, that greed and selfishness, backstabbing and lies are the route to success.
Major change is coming over the next 12 years...society's basic rules are becoming obsolete and reorganized. Unfortunately, none of our leaders have a clue, and thus will continue to try the same old techniques expecting similar results and being disappointed.
There is a difference between capitalism and unbridled greed.
Scarcity of resources is no longer an actual situation, it has become a created pattern of thought.
Highly concentrated, anything from water to power becomes corrupting and dangerous.
Posted by wizoddg
19th Oct
0
Votes
Parents and child communication gap?
I have seen in my practice of child psychology that many parents are not try to understand the dynamic nature of social changes and generated compulsion which generally create misunderstanding and dis-agreements, so have to not only accept the change behavior of child also accept the rapid changes of society.
http://teenagerpsychologist.blogspot.in
http://teenagerpsychologist.blogspot.in
Posted by teeanger psychologist
21st Oct
+2
Votes
Berkley
Is Berkley really the place to find "normal" American children?
I attemped to find how many children Dr. Levine has. Her biography on her website reads, "Dr. Levine and her husband of 35 years, Lee Schwartz, M.D. are the incredibly proud (and slightly relieved) parents of three newly minted and thriving sons." What does that even mean? That her three sons are newborns?
Maybe they should ask me, or any number of parents who have raised three or more successful children.
I attemped to find how many children Dr. Levine has. Her biography on her website reads, "Dr. Levine and her husband of 35 years, Lee Schwartz, M.D. are the incredibly proud (and slightly relieved) parents of three newly minted and thriving sons." What does that even mean? That her three sons are newborns?
Maybe they should ask me, or any number of parents who have raised three or more successful children.
Posted by bb_apptix
Updated - 22nd Oct
+1
Vote
Good old spankings
raising children has gone downhill ever since spankings went out of style. Children today have quite the sense of entitlement that just didn't exist 30 years ago. Why? Because parent's are trying to be friends with their kids and not the guidance that they need. Plus, there needs to be *REAL* consequences to disobedience! Look, whenever one of my coworkers tells me about some exasperating thing their kid did and they complain about their lack of control of the kid, I look at them with disbelief....I tell them, that a child has only one job. And that is to push their boundries. A child is constantly learning. Imagine a child is pushing a glass of milk across a table. At what point do you instruct the child to stop pushing the glass before it falls to the floor? If you don't stop the child from knocking the glass onto the floor, then it will go on to think that this is normal and acceptable behaviour. You, the parent, need to set boundries...and the second thing you need to do is be consistant! Don't set a boundry and then allow the child to side step it when it's inconvenient for you to enforce the boundry...this send mixed signals.
Children need to do children things....and as a parent, you need to do parent things...you are *NOT* their friend...you are an authorative figure and sometimes that means meting out punishment.
Children need to do children things....and as a parent, you need to do parent things...you are *NOT* their friend...you are an authorative figure and sometimes that means meting out punishment.
Posted by tech_ed@...
23rd Oct
+1
Vote
It doesn't help...
...that the state enables them by convincing them that there are limits to their parent's authority.
Posted by JohnMcGrew@...
24th Oct