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Heavens be praised! I don't like working in groups because I don't like feeling rushed to think and blurt out ideas. I am intelligent, but I like to turn an idea over in my mind slowly, looking at it from all the angles, and perhaps do a little research/fact checking, before I say anything. And I need to do this in a quiet space, because I can't think well with other people yammering on. In a crowd of people who like to talk they're way through stuff, or are just eager to get things done, my preferred approach risks me not getting a chance to participate, or being seen as dead weight, slow, uninterested, haughty, or any other number of inaccurate and negative labels. The pressure to conform to the extrovert model of "group work" is terrible, and in itself causes my brain to "short circuit", i.e. fail to be able to process anything, if left unchecked, and may even result in panic attacks or "meltdowns."

I was very happy to see the note about sending agendas well in advance of meetings. Knowing ahead of time what's expected is a huge help, giving folks like me time to read, research, and reflect at our own pace, so we can walk in feeling more prepared to share our thoughts or get group tasks accomplished. It also gives us a chance to figure out where we fit in to a project or discussion. Do we have any particular strengths, knowledge, experiences, or perspectives that would be helpful in a given role in a project or topic of discussion? By the same token, are there any roles or tasks to which we are not well suited? Being able to answer these questions ahead of time is a huge help, and allows us to go in to group settings with more confidence.

If we're being assigned to a group not of our choosing, it would be good to let us know ahead of time if possible. Are we going to be working with people we don't know well? Fine, but let us know who they are, and provide contact information, and for me, I would say preferably of the e-mail variety. This gives me a chance to reach out to my future teammates and open a dialogue on terms I'm more comfortable with. That's not to say I'd be strictly electronic communications only, I may suggest getting together on lunch, but on a one-to-one basis, with each individual member of the team, one at a time, so I get a sense of who they are and how to work with them. Then when we all sit down to work together, I'll know how I fit in. This would seriously reduce my stress levels. Sure that might sound odd, or perhaps childish, like a young kid being afraid of strangers, but for someone like me, the secret to dealing with unfamiliar situations and people is just like dealing with anything else I don't know, research. It might sound cold or dehumanizing to think of other people as "research projects," but if you stop to think about it, there's an entire scientific field devoted, more or less, to that very idea. We commonly call it psychology.

All that said, I am thrilled that someone is holding up a torch for the introverted and asking that the extroverts not railroad, however unintentionally, everyone into doing things their way, and to understand that sometimes silence really is golden. In a world gone mad with the desire to see everything done faster and better, it seems that many have equated the two. Speed and superior quality are not always the same thing, and there is a deep value in slowing down to take the long view, and reason things through comprehensively. Some of us need time in a quiet space to do this, without anyone shattering our concentration. It's not cold, its not that we don't like you, we just need to be allowed to do things the way that works for us.