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The WiFi next door hears you having sex

By | October 19, 2012, 6:12 AM PDT

WiFi circa the 19th century.

This is not quite what it sounds like, so to speak. But still worth noting.

According to a BBC story, neighbors are getting down right vindictive and hoaxing in the names they choose for their WiFi networks. Those names pop up on other people’s nearby WiFi-connected computer menus. In some cases, the labels communicate a “shut up” type message to, say, fellow building dwellers who don’t know how to keep the music down. In others, the word play is a bit more prurient.

Some common names noted by OpenSignalMaps, a company that keeps a database of network handles:

    • We can hear you having sex
    • Stop having so much sex
    • Stop wearing heals
    • Stop slamming the door
    • Shut up
    • Stop shouting
    • You’re music is annoying (to which someone replied via a new WiFi name, Your grammar is more annoying)
    • Terror network
    • Virus detected shutting down

And then there are names intended to tell WiFi moochers to “keep your hands off”:

    • Stop stealing my paper
    • Go away don’t steal my broadband
    • Thou shalt not steal
    • Covet not thy neighbor’s wi-fi

Now that we’ve circled back to sex, let’s leave the name game there. Meanwhile, safe computing!

Image: “Eavesdropping” by Vittorio Reggianini, from Wikimedia via Sotheby’s.

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Mark Halper

About Mark Halper

Mark Halper is a contributing editor for SmartPlanet.

Mark Halper

Mark Halper

Contributing Editor

Mark Halper has written for TIME, Fortune, Financial Times, the UK's Independent on Sunday, Forbes, New York Times, Wired, Variety and The Guardian. He is based in Bristol, U.K.

Follow him on Twitter.

Mark Halper

Mark Halper

Mark has no financial holdings in the companies he writes about. He occasionally travels at the expense of companies or their press relations agencies in order to report on a company or industry event related to it; Mark will prominently disclose this information when appropriate. This relationship will have no influence on his coverage. Companies he covers do not get to review columns in advance, or select or reject topics.

He writes for SmartPlanet and is not an employee of CBS.

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Lame Headline
The article was mildly amusing but the headline was worthy of a supermarket tabloid. If that is your corporate objective fess up so the readers can notify the illiterati.
Posted by jwaustin
19th Oct
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Talking to the wall.
But neighbors engaged in whatever they are doing at the time, will they be interested in reading these warnings?
By the way, I love the old painting in the illustration, the sensational technique the painter had to obtain those draped fabrics and their natural effects. And maybe this one was just another painter at the time! Nowadays he'll be hailed a genius!!
Posted by David Traversa
19th Oct
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Nosy Neighbors
Nothing keeps people out of your hair like being nosy.
Posted by Arctic Char
19th Oct
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