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How mobile technology ruined etiquette

By | October 29, 2012, 8:47 AM PDT

No, it’s not text messaging shorthand that’s ruined etiquette. And it’s not the chronic over-sharing of photos or political screeds, though that too has a place in the annals of terribleness.

Mobile technology has enabled us to make changes on the fly, and because of that, we’re breaking long-established rules to what’s socially appropriate.

Ever had someone bail on a business meeting at the last minute? Ever tried to organize a gathering, only to have various invitees splinter off into their own events? Do you find yourself saying “yes” to virtually everything, even though there’s no possible way you could attend it all?

So does everyone else. And that’s the problem.

Caroline Tell reports for the New York Times:

Digital flakiness seems to apply equally to last-minute plans and engagements booked way in advance. Ashley Wick, the founder of Wick Communications, a firm based in New York, organized an intimate dinner this fall to introduce a designer she represents to about 10 editors. Invitations were sent out two weeks earlier, but that afternoon almost half of the confirmed attendees canceled via e-mail.

“Offline rules of etiquette no longer seem to apply,” Ms. Wick said. “People hide behind e-mail or text messages to cancel appointments, or do things that feel uncomfortable to do in person.”

Sociologists call it “micro-coordination,” because you can adjust plans at will. I call it endlessly frustrating.

A social circle that’s filtered through FaceTime, not face time? Sorry — can’t make it.

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Andrew Nusca

About Andrew Nusca

Andrew Nusca is the editor of SmartPlanet.

Andrew Nusca

Andrew Nusca

Editor

Andrew Nusca is editor of SmartPlanet and an associate editor for ZDNet. Previously, he worked at Money, Men's Vogue and Popular Mechanics magazines. He holds degrees from the Columbia University Graduate School of Journalism and New York University. He based in New York but resides in Philadelphia.

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Andrew Nusca

Andrew Nusca
Andrew Nusca does not hold any investments in the companies he covers.
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+2 Votes
+ -
THX Andrew Nusca - good report.
good observation on the social network.

Don Nagy happy
Posted by Donald.Nagy@...
30th Oct
+1 Vote
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It will only continue if we tolerate it.
If nobody tries to uphold order, we'll descend into anarchy.
Posted by JohnMcGrew@...
30th Oct
+1 Vote
+ -
anarchy!
we'll all be running through the streets, telling everyone who will listen, "i must reschedule!"
Posted by andrew.nusca
30th Oct
0 Votes
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ROFL.
Good one.
Posted by JohnMcGrew@...
30th Oct
+1 Vote
+ -
Civility
And here we have it ....... civility is the first victim of this "so-called" communication revolution.
Does it make communication faster? ... Yes.
Better? ... I don't think so.
It doesn't look like it will improve any time soon.
Interesting times.
Posted by da philster
30th Oct
+1 Vote
+ -
Ignore them
If I receive a text/email from a person backing out an hour or two before I still go to the planned meeting.

Technology is great to blame for miscommunications. 'I never got the text/email.'

I remind people that a phone call to me is more reliable.

What I am really saying is 'show some respect and call.'
Posted by Hates Idiots
30th Oct
0 Votes
+ -
although what they might be hearing is
'i'm a luddite.'

just saying! this is generational. mine doesn't make phone calls.
Posted by andrew.nusca
30th Oct
0 Votes
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It works well with vendors and subordinates.
Some people have no manners even when their livelihood is on the line.

I should clarify that ignoring them comes after a fair warning that I expect a call in case of cancellation.

To ignore my request for a call is disrespectful. I am just returning the favor.
Posted by Hates Idiots
30th Oct
+1 Vote
+ -
It's all about manners
Devices are not anti-manners. They just make it easier to think you are being gracious. Manners are commonly learned from parents. When the parents are without pre-digital manners, how will the next generation learn their importance? Expand the scope of the conversation and you could lump in a great many "life skills" that are no longer able to be handed down to new generations as the prior generations abandoned them. Mgmt training in most companies...gone. How to host a party....gone. Basic social etiquette....gone. If it does not involve a device in your hand, the skills are quickly fading into oblivion. Pretty sad.
Posted by mryanaz
30th Oct
0 Votes
+ -
i agree!
education goes a long way.

(he said while chewing with his mouth open. just kidding!)
Posted by andrew.nusca
30th Oct
+1 Vote
+ -
What's for lunch?
Does Human Resources know you are eating at your desk again?
Posted by Hates Idiots
30th Oct
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