I'll never buy a PC again!

Do you know how it feels to be the last person on earth to pay $3,000 for a PC? I do, and I'm never buying a PC again!

OK, I've got your attention. Here's my story:

On Nov. 24, I ordered a loaded Dell Dimension XPS D266 mini-tower. The price shot skyward as I added options such as DVD, Zip drive, the best speakers, 64MB of memory, 17-inch monitor with a Trinitron tube and an 8.4GB hard drive. By the time I was through, the cost was $3,040.

A delay in the DVD option would push shipping out at least a month because Dell estimated the system would be manufactured Dec. 31. At first, I grumbled, but now I realize the delay may end up being a saving grace. I'll explain later.

For the entire month of December, I watched the floor fall out on Pentium II systems. Gateway went under $2,000 and a Micron unit that closely matched mine (minus DVD and about 2GB of hard disk storage) was selling for $2,499.

The final blow came yesterday. Compaq announced Pentium II Presarios under $2,000. Granted, they don't come with monitors and are thin on bells and whistles, but this is Compaq, not Screwdriver Sam's PC Bazaar.

But wait, there's more! Krazy Ecky at Compaq is giving away 200MHz K6-based systems for a measly $799 sans monitor. I've always wondered how you use computers without monitors. Bet you've got to have a great memory. Compaq has Deskpros for slightly more money that DO come with monitors. Even Packard Bell can't match these k-ra-zee prices!!

Here's the absolute, end all-be all, primo, mucho-macho insult: Dell's January catalog lists a loaded 300MHz Pentium II Dimension system -- the same as mine plus 24MHz in chip speed, minus DVD, the speakers, the Zip drive and the Trinitron option -- for $2,499. HOW DO THEY DO IT?!

(I think we have AMD's K6 and Cyrix's MediaGX processors to thank, but that's another story.)

Now folks, I didn't just fall off the turnip truck. There is no good time to buy a PC from a pricing point of view. Three years ago, I paid $2,500 each for 90MHz and 100MHz Pentium systems from Gateway. Both came with 8MB of memory, one with a 500MB hard drive and one with a 1GB hard drive and not much else.

But it was at least 90 days before I got that sinking feeling that prices on my Gateway systems had dipped considerably. Not an hour after ordering the system, as with the latest system. By the way, I adore my new PC, even though Dell put in the wrong packing slip, setting off a few annoying and unnecessary phone calls. Turned out to be the right system, but the wrong slip.

On Jan. 2, I applied for a rebate on my Dell system, so I could get it for the current price. I didn't get the system until late December, so I figured there's a good shot at getting the lower price. And maybe Dell will factor in the shipping mix-up (Helloooo, Paul Halverson at Measurex in Green Bay. Did you get my packing slip?? I got yours.) and the fact that the carton the tower came in appeared to have been sitting in a puddle for some time. I await word from Dell accounting.

So there might be a happy ending to this woeful tale, depending on the size of the rebate. It could just make me want to buy another PC some time in the future.